apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Randomize
