try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
