the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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