We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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