So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
