Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
