its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
