Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
