Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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