Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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