NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
