whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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