I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
