You're a womanizer and a bitch.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
