Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
