Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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