Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
