he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
