Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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