I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i think i have two assholes
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I want her autograph on my taint
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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