5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize