I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Send help, water and tortillas.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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