That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
