Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
