guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
