May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
