she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
