Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
