Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
