We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
