I'm gonna have a badass scar
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
