I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
dude. I can hear the air.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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