A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
time to smoke my breakfast
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
