You just made me feel so damn special
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
