susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
