I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
