Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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