Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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