do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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