did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
