Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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