also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well I just put wine in my tea
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
