I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
