My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
