I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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