there was a trapeze. enough said
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
