In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
