The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
