I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
