So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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