Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
