I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
