pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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