I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
