u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
