I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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