just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Walk of Shame today included voting.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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