I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so that wasnt chicken after all
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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