3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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