My nipple is on Facebook.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
