sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
