im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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