Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
